Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Echoes

My wife (from here on out known as Miss Piggy) and I were talking the other day.  I can't remember exactly what she said, so I'll make up the words, but here's about how the conversation started:
Miss Piggy: Women can't simultaneously expect more privileges without also having more responsibilities.
Me: That's funny you think that.
MP: How's that funny?
M: Ok, not funny, surprising.

Her Grandfather was a good man, who had lots of kids with a beast of a woman, who left him many, many years ago.  That woman never really wanted kids, but she took them anyways, and remarried with a despicable man.  Somewhere along the way she turned into a raging alcoholic.  My wife's mother was one of those children, who had an excellent positive male example early in life, and a negative male and female example on how to raise children later in life.  She grew up, became a major slut, espoused many feminist ideals, eventually settled down with a timid (and divorced and broken) man, and had a few kids.  Somewhere along the way she became a raging alcoholic, brutally beating some of her kids along the way.  Many of her own siblings became alcoholics.  One of her daughters grew up, became an alcholic, then cleaned up, then became a lesbian.  One of her sons grew up timid and anti-social, married an absolute beast of a woman.  And the other one grew up and met me.
 
Notice any patterns? 

So I married the decent one.  Good decision on my part? Undecided, but probably yes.  She decided long ago that she wasn't going to play the victim card.  But growing up with nothing but negative examples, getting beaten on a regular basis, doesn't lend well to forging healthy relationships in your adult life.  She is an abberration, in that she is self-aware enough to have recognized the un-healthy relationships of her past.  Grew up in a liberal bastion on the left-coast but somehow has very Conservative ideals.  Grew up in a mostly agnostic household, but held herself to Christian ideals from a young age, and became a Christian in her teens. 

In my teens I had very mature (IMO) opinions on dating.  One of them was to never date someone I wouldn't marry.  The other was to always look at the condition of your girl's mom, because that's how your girl will look in 25 years.  My first serious girlfriend's mom was a shrew, she swore up and down she'd never turn out like her.  We reconnected years later, turns out she was wrong.  Glad I dodged that bullet.

MP is not without her faults.  We've certainly had rough spots, and not all of those are entirely her fault.  Especially considering that I've failed my fair share of fitness tests*, which I consider to be my fault (failure at being Alpha).  But I like to think that she's becoming a better person all the time.  And as I improve my Game, I become a better husband, and she becomes a better wife.

MP doesn't browse the internet too often.  I know she has read some of the manosphere sites if I haven't closed them out, but she doesn't go seeking them.  This is why I found what she said at the top of the page so surprising.  She came from an extended family of failures, but somehow she managed to be aware enough of all the crap happening all around her, pulled herself out of it, and turned out to be a decent person.

*I actually prefer the term "$#!t test", but I'm trying to keep this family friendly.

4 comments:

  1. Glad to know there's more to your life than Game, though. Good for her, and you.

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  2. I think you are my first commenter, Mazeltov! I can't believe I haven't posted in a year. I need to get back on track.

    I actually do believe in Game, that it's Biblical, and that it works. But my wife requires a lot more beta than alpha compared to most. I'm also not out on the town several nights a week honing my skillz. I'm in maintenance mode, and there's not a whole lot of blogworthy news in that department.

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  3. Heh, thanks. Game is more like the Talmud then Biblical, and the Talmud is a book of mixed and muddy concepts that contradict each other, appeal to low human nature, and occasionally make sense. Simply because it's so mixed up, it's not a good system to appeal to. The simple solution: go by Biblical manhood, learn confidence and social skills. Done/

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    1. Jennifer, I'm vaguely familiar with the Talmud, but not intimately. What is your experience with it? From what I've seen of your postings, I've never seen anything that shows you explicitly to be Jewish.

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